We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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