My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
