Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
