I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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