As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
