i just wanna soil my oats bro
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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