oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
