forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
