Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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