If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
