I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
there was a trapeze. enough said
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
