But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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