I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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