We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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