spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
There r osticjed everywhere
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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