Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
