you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
