You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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