she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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