wanna go halves on a baby?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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