everyone is single if you try hard enough
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
