margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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