porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
this hospital has no fireball
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
