It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
