I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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