I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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