I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
