Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize