do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
