An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
