forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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