Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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