I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
