And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
