is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
