Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize