It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
