the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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