I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just invented taco cereal.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize