You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
