dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
did you just send me my own nude
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
