Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We have started to decorate penises.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
