So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
