Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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