just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
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