are you so shy because you have an std?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
