so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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