I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
