We're like a lot better than the average bears
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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