My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
