i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize