She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
