I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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