i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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