I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
