Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
