i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Randomize
