So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
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